Krehbiel Commentary

If you want to be taken seriously in political discourse today, it's very, very important to create a childish nickname for the opposition -- you know, something that would fit in with the fourth grade playground set.  Here's a look at the playing field so far.

McCain Nicknames

You have to admit that Democrats have it pretty easy this election.  It's inherently easy to make a funny-sounding name out of anything that starts with "Mc."

• McSame.  This is the best childish nickname for this election so far, used almost universally on all Democratic blogs.  It succinctly summarizes the entire width and breadth of the Democratic argument against John McCain in two tiny syllables.
• McBush.  Also good for the same reasons, but it loses points because it doesn't rhyme with McCain.
• McLame.  This one is just silly.  It rhymes but it doesn't say anything about why he's lame.

Obama Nicknames

Republicans have it rough with "Barack Hussein Obama."  There's a really fine line between a childish nickname and blatant xenophobia... they haven't yet found a universally accepted nickname, but they keep trying.

• Hussein.  Great for riling up the conservatives, but it loses points because it's hard to imagine schoolyard kids taunting each other with it.  Plus it's, you know, his real name -- not a nickname.
• Barry.  This one doesn't make a lot of sense to me.  I guess calling him "Barry" implies he's a child.  Either that or it's some kind of allusion to Barry White's smooth-talking 70s disco.
• Obamessiah.  This is one of the best, but I think it's more of an indictment against Obama supporters than Obama himself.  Also, it's got way too many syllables to really catch on -- you can't use it in a chant, for example.
• Obambi.  A noble effort, but you have to stop and think about what it means, and even then it's not terribly obvious.  I'm assuming it's intended to suggest that Obama is going to fold under the weight of the Republican attack machine like a deer in headlights or something.
• Both Ways Barack.  This is a strong contender I saw recently.  It's got aliteration, and it evokes that whole "flip-flopping" meme that the coveted uninformed voters fall for.  So far it hasn't caught on.
• Barack Who's-Same.  This new one is pretty clever, but it's obviously a desperate attempt to out-do "McSame."  Unfortunately, the Democrats got there first.  Also, it doesn't make a lot of rational sense to attack Obama for being "the same."

Third Parties

No known nicknames for third party candidates Gene Amondson, Chuck Baldwin, Bob Barr, Ralph Nader, or Cynthia McKinney.  Too bad they don't get to play with the other kids. :(